Jan 4

Day one of regular scheduling in the new year has gone well.  But then.....we usually do start new ventures well, then grow weary with the trudging and pushing on, and give up.  I'll try to hang on to slower beginnings rather than going all gung-ho at it and tiring out.

I did finish my first book last night.   Well, I started reading Ordinary by Michael Horton back in March.  A friend gave it to me because so much of it's content touched on things we had discussed between us.   It was a VERY good read.   I read it with a lot of verbal, out loud agreement.  He speaks of the way that our society (in every setting, including church and Christianity) seems to be lurking about, restless, and searching for something more. Bigger. Extreme. etc, etc.   But.....we forget that God works more often in the ordinary aspects of every day life.  

Some quotes that jumped out at me:
    page 127   "In most cases, impatience with the ordinary is at the root of our restlessness and rootlessness.  We're looking for something more to charge our lives with interest, meaning, and purpose.  Instead of growing like a tree, we want to grow like a forest fire."

   page 15   "Changing the world can be a way of actually avoiding the opportunities we have every day, right where God has placed us, to glorify and enjoy him and to enrich the lives of others."

   page 27  "Maybe if we discover the opportunities of the ordinary, a fondness for the familiar, and marvel again at the mundane, we will be radical after all."  

       I think this is one of the keys to a happy and peaceful life.   Thrilling in the ordinary, for that's where we live.

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Today, after work, as much as I tried to talk myself out of it  (It's too cold.  Sean leaves tomorrow. I have laundry to do. Etc) I did go for a good walk after work.  And Sean joined me.  Now to keep doing this......at least 3 days a week.  More would be better, but this time I'm going about this steady and slow.
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I started reading my next book, What Does the Bible Really Teach About Homosexuality , by Kevin DeYoung, today.   This is going to be a good read.  He is a good writer: forthright, clear honest and humble for starters, able to teach the truth with clarity, without apology, but in such a way that is winsome and unoffensive.  In the introduction, he is clear about the standpoint from which he begins. He also speaks to the three different types that will likely read the book.   First are the convinced. 
On page 17 he states that these are those who believe that the Bible condemns homosexual behavior as wrong.  
     "I'm going to argue for that same conclusion, but the right conclusion can be handled in the wrong way.  Focusing on other people's sins, while ignoring our own, would b the wrong way.  Being haughty about biblical correctness, instead of humbled by our own fallenness, would be the wrong way.  Turning every conversation into a theological throwdown would be the wrong way.  Treating people like projects to fix, or problems to solve, or points to be scored, instead of people to love, would be the wrong way."
     He goes on to point out that although being pure in heart is a good thing, so is being merciful and mournful.

It grieves me so much that there is such misunderstanding about the motives and meaning of 'Christians' on this issue.   The voices that speak the loudest, and gain the most media time are indeed those who focus on this letter of the law without regard for the rest of Scripture.   The loudest voices have indeed been hateful and very much the opposite of Christ-like.  But to say that one is hateful because they believe differently than you?  To think that I would behave like those loud voices toward you because I think your chosen sexual orientation is sin?   My own sin is as grievous to God as yours is. And I am no better than anyone else.  The only merit I can claim is that I am Christ's, and am washed clean of my guilt and sin daily by Him.    

I appreciate DeYoung's candor, as well as his humble and loving spirit.

Beginnings...................

       I've long dreamed of being a writer.  I was going to write under a pseudonym to evade the condemnation and judgement of my father primarily.  I never could do anything right in his eyes, yet longed so much for his approval.   The whole 'writer' thing, however never happened.  Life did.  I married, became a mother of four children, became divorced and a single mother of four children.  I have worked, been unemployed, taken 2 steps backward for every 3 steps forward, I think, and have the grey hair, worn body and mind to prove it.

     I let the whole writer dream go a long time ago, but I do think a lot.   Like as in writing type thinking.   I respond in my head to various things I hear and see; various topics that are prevalent in todays world.   Often I might speak my thinking with others, but more often I forget, and it seems that I am haunted by the loss of my thoughts.   "I wish I'd written that down." Or.......life happens and I forget to go back and read that blog post or article linked on Facebook, but I always have it in the back of my head.   I love to talk and discuss, but most of the time there is no one to talk to or discuss with.

    So........I came up with the space to at least be able to put my thoughts to type.   I really don't expect anyone to read this stuff.  I don't write to be read.  I write to encourage myself, really.  To be vocal, to be wise and thoughtful, logical and consistent.

    Last year (2015) felt like a slow growth year for me.  Stagnant.  It was full of good things, but I dropped the ball in several areas of life.  Exercise (important for obvious health reasons, but also for the arthritis that plagues me, and in managing diabetes), diet (ditto), reading (something I have always loved, but alas, 'life' got in the way, as did my lack of discipline), leading and mentoring.  I cringe at that last one.  I am the last one that needs to be leading others, but it seems I've been called to that role in some situations.

    I usually don't do New Year's Resolutions.  Set up for failure, usually.   Who keeps them?  I hear more about failure that success on that issue.   However, I have come to a point of realizing my lack, my need, and have determined to do better in 2016.

   I have come up with a reading list for the year.  A downright ambitious one.   But I am excited to be on track here.   It will take a LOT of discipline to make myself sit down and read some every day.  If I finish 3/4 of the books, I'll call it success.  I'll list the books below.  When I read, I usually get excited about some truth spoken and underline it or highlight it, wishing I could remember it always, but then I forget.   My goal is to use this space to cite those quotes, and maybe put forth my own thoughts.
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     The Good News We Almost Forgot, by Kevin DeYoung.     I was going through this book with 2 young ladies that I know, but due to 'life' we had to back down from our regular meetings.  However, I love this book.  It goes through the Heidelberg Catechism, with DeYoung writing a short chapter after each "Lord's Day".   I'll read one chapter weekly (probably Saturday nights), and finish by year end.  I didn't grow up in churches that had anything to do with catechisms, and until about 6-7 years ago (I am almost 52 now!) had no clue what one was.  I love the logical, forthright way that they (especially the Heidelberg) communicate that basics of the Gospel.  

Ordinary  I've been working on this since March 2015 with several month's long breaks due to moving etc.   His writing style just doesn't hold my attention long.  But....I finished it just a few minutes ago.  Good material. 

What does the Bible Really Teach about Homosexuality  by Kevin DeYoung 

Wanting to do this study in preparation to reasonably and logically, and Biblically speak to the issue when the opportunity presents itself.  

Just Do Something  Kevin DeYoung (yes, again.) a short book with this subtitle (I LOVE IT)  "How to make a decision without dreams, visions, fleeces, impressions, open doors, random Bible verses, casting lots, liver shivers, writing in the sky, etc.,      I primarily want to read to be able to help others who are struggling.  

Knowing God  I want to re-read this book about every 2-3 years.   Good stuff. 

Idols of the Heart by Elyse Fitzpatrick   I am almost afraid to read this one.  I smell conviction coming on.....  

Little Women  by Louisa May Alcott.  A re-read for sure, as I read it multiple times as a teen and young adult.   I'll intersperse reading this throughout the others, for those times when I need to lighten up.  

Little Men by Louisa May Alcott.  I recall reading this once as a young teen, and liked it, but can't remember a lot about it.  Again, light reading. 

What is the Mission of the Church?  Kevin DeYoung and Greg Gilbert.   I'm reading this in response to so many young people who seem to have lost what the Bible states as the Church's mission and have re-written it to their own tunes.  

Crazy Busy   DeYoung (Can you tell who one of my favorite authors is? I've had my eye on these books for a long   time, and just found some of them at a used book store).  We went through this during a Wednesday night series in church a few years back, but I didn't have my own copy, so I want to read myself. 

Life of a Slave Girl Harriet A. Jacobs.   Found this at the used book store and thought i would be a good read, different from other material I'm reading.  

God's Will  J.I.Packer and Carolyn Nystrom.    Continuing what appears to be somewhat of a theme this year.  

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Other than reading, I am committing to a regular, reasonable exercise program.   I have opportunity to walk at work during breaks/lunch, but I hate to because I have been offended by the odor of others (women primarily) who do this and come back to their desks.  I don't want to be THAT person to others.  I live in a good neighborhood, well suited to walking (sidewalks on every street, well lit, and good neighbors). I will try my best to walk at least a mile (maybe 2!) at least 3 days a week.  This will be hard, as I can't walk in the mornings as that would interupt prayer time. I'll have to come home from work, change, and go out walking.  I think once it becomes a habit, it will be easier.  Getting there will be hard though. 

Diet.  I love carbs. I love all things sugar.  But I am diabetic.  And we've just come through the holidays. No need to say more. Medications used to control this better, but one caused GI problems for years and I finally refused to take it anymore.  Blood sugar shot up.  The other, a non-insulin injection appeared to help nominally, but it cost $437 a month, so I refused to take it any more.  My new doctor is letting me try some other older medications, but they don't appear to be working.   We may try insulin soon.  I dread this, but if it works, I'll do it.  

Over the last 2 years, God has taught me the disciplines of daily prayer and Bible reading.  I don't struggle to do this now.  It is a part (a wonderful part)  of every single day.  

I hope the next disciplines don't take so long to become habit.......But here we go...........